Fear is a bully

So Abby is trying hockey. Well, shes been on the ice once and spent 20 minutes on the bench because she didn’t know what to do, was sick to her stomach with what I say was fear but she says was some 1 hour super bug the second tryout session, and peered onto the posessed ice surface in full gear for an hour in utter horror Saturday for her first team practice.

Abby has high anxiety. It’s better in so many ways but it rears its smug, attention seeking face from time to time.

I asked a coach to come help when I couldn’t get her within more than a few steps from the door to the mostly self-unchartered frozen tundra. He talked to her a bit before I finally suggested we escape to the stands as her eyes pleaded for us to save her from waters edge.

For some 20 minutes, the young coach took the time to talk to Abby. They chatted about school and what she liked and much to my surprise, as we said goodbye to her coaches, parents and friends, she said she was excited for practise this coming Wednseday.

If that coach hadn’t taken that time with her, this post would have simply read:

Youth hockey equipment. Worn twice. Used once. Smells of fear. Best offer.

I have a photo of her not looking like Pennywise is behind me. This suited the post better.

Today we woke at the crack of ‘what the’, and gave power skating a try. She once again stood at the gates of fear, and for the second time in as many days, I called over a volunteer to help. I quickly ran away, and within seconds, on the ice she went.

Abby enjoyed it. She fell. She got up. She tried it all. She kept pace. She loved the staff and was asking when the next session is.

She says there is no way she’s playing her first game this coming weekend. Maybe she’ll just ride the bench at first? What I do know is that fear wont win. Shes a brave young lady. ‘I don’t know how’ can be a bit of a bully sometimes.

All I know is that I’m one proud papa as my eyes grow heavy. Today, the fear bully got his tail pipe handed to him and smiles and excitement won the day.

I told her to remember this fear because it will have a difference face in March. It will come back though but it will look like graduation, the first day of high school, her first job, her second job, and some random things in between.

I’m not sure about Abby but I know I wanted to puke yesterday. I don’t want her to feel this scared either. I also dont want ‘I don’t know’ to push her around anymore.

Parenting: One big ass frozen jungle.

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