Hate is a Strong Word

Social Education: So you hate your job?

Part 2

Hate is a big, scary word. Much more so if it’s “I f$%&ing hate you!”, rather than “Man. I hate doing this.” My own definition of hate, days away from 48, is unhappiness not discussed, examined, or acted on over an extended period of time. During this period, hate is allowed to grow like cancer when saving love or passion might have been only a conversation away.

I don’t hate my job, my employer, or especially those I work with both internally and externally. Hate just exists because unfulfillment has been allowed to build mostly unaddressed, leading up to where many most days, hate is the word used to describe this unhappiness.

Twenty-two years. Twenty-three in May. That’s a long time to be committed to anything. My father worked for Stelco (a local steel company), for 37 years; my grandfather for 30. One job, for most of our adult lives. Well, my grandfather lived to just days shy of 99 so he was one of the lucky ones who was able to enjoy more years retired and giving back to the community, than working. Although, he had to quit school in grade eight to help support his family.

My parents are still married 48 years later. My paternal grandparents were wed until they both died within two months of each other at around 55, and my maternal grandfather was married twice over 30 years each time. His first wife (my grandmother), died in a car accident when I was a baby, and he was still married to my step-grandmother when he passed. Those are accomplishments to celebrate. Through thick and thin.

I say this because money and a lack of education certainly factor in when pondering dissatisfaction in the workplace. Supporting my family of course is most important and I will do anything for them, but what if I could have my cake and eat it too?

From decent benefits, flexibility, the ability to work from home for many years prior to COVID, my office being a 7 minute drive away, I have a laptop, work cell, cheap internet and cable services, a social club that hosts a lot of fun events, and coworkers I enjoy working with – many of which I have worked with for most of my twenty plus years at my current employer. I would miss them if I left.

There have been many times where passion ran high. Especially in the early years where I would build databases into the wee hours at home, and took courses all the time to improve myself. I have always loved learning under the right set of circumstances.

Hate quickly goes away when I spend even a few moments thinking of all the good, not to mention a wage I most likely wouldn’t get anywhere else or vacation time that took twenty-two years to build up but if I close my eyes, I can remember the sheer joy and excitement I felt moving onto this role from my last employer. Passion shouldn’t be so rare or else what are we doing?

I am not at my current employer out of any kind of dedication. This isn’t commitment. It’s necessity.

Life is short. So, here we are having this conversation.

One of the suggestions on the Facebook conversation that ensued from yesterday’s post – other than the more obvious like talking to my wife who is a manger of employment services, was to watch a series of videos PATH Employment Services has put together over the past six or seven months, where Catherine Johnston interviews people from our community to discuss the path to their current roles.

Yesterday I started with our friend Tamara, a K-12 tutor who owns the local chapter of Beyond The Classroom. I am including the video to her interview, and a couple of quotes that caught my attention below.

“I finally have arrived. Being at peace. Content with my career. It’s a neat place to be.”

Tamara Leniew, Beyond the Classroom Hamilton

“When you find people who are good with ‘you’, good things happen. My businesses is doing really well. I am really happy. I think it’s because I am surrounded by people who feel the same.”

Tamara Leniew, Beyond the Classroom Hamilton

You can follow along with the conversation on Facebook or preferably because Facebook doesn’t play nice, start your own thread below. I would love to hear your stories as I venture down my own path to now what, and for more people to learn from you as well.

You can also reach out to me at justwefamilyblog@gmail.com.

What’s Next? Part 1 | Part 3

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